What caught my eye this week in class was when we read and went over the different types of power in marriages. There are Coercive, which is to avoid punishment by spouse, Reward; to obtain rewards from spouse, legitimate; spouse has the right to ask and you have the duty to comply, expert; spouse has special knowledge or expertise, referent; identification with and admiration of, spouse and desire to please her or him and the last one was informational; persuasion by spouse that what spouse wants is in your own best interests.
I have seen all of these powers used in either friends or others around me. I, myself, am guilty of using one or two in my marriage. I am glad that I don't abuse that power but it was necessary for me to see that it can cause conflict and really needs to be controlled. We and our spouse are equal partners and need to really see that. We are there to love and serve each other putting the other before us. As we both look to God and draw closer in our relationship then we won't have any power conflict in our marriage because we are becoming one.
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